|
[21 Nov 2009|10:44am] |
Greetings.
It's been awhile.
I'm up the street at Erik and Jess's place.
I still do not have internet. Don't think I will for a few months to come. Just to be safe.. Tho it sucks. I never realized how much my life is on the computer. Lame and sad I know. But what else is there to do? Read a book? No. Hehe although...
I do have a shit ton of books and no book shelves. Quite a dilemma. I just don't know what happened to the ones I had.. Bah.
My place is nice. Quiet for the most part. Slept in a few times later then should have, which resulted in me being late for work. Need to work on that.
Have along way to go, for unpacking.. But I'm afraid to at he same time.. Money is tight. But that does happen.
Well. Got stuff to do.
Keep in touch.
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[31 Oct 2009|12:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Halloween Music |
] |
|
|
|
|
[30 Oct 2009|05:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
Just got the keys to my apartment!
Soo excited.
Although I ended up finding out that I do NOT have free heat. I do in fact have to pay for it. So that means that no utilities are included. =(
Pretty sure I'll still be able to afford everything.
I'm just a little bit MORE poorer then I thought I was going to be. Poo poo
Moving some stuff in as we speak. Have work tonight too. Not happy. Gonna move more shit in SAT Halloween. Dunno if I've plans or doing anything for that matter to celebrate it. Most likely alone.. Haha without lights? I fergot to ask him if they were already on, or if I had to change names asap. Bummer.
My mind is everywhere. I'm so unorganized. I'm so poor!
But I have keys. And keys are always good.
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[23 Oct 2009|08:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nervous |
] |
[movie|Tin Man]
Sometimes, I'm afraid of how stupid I really am..
But.. Survey says; I move in on FRI!
Packing status.. Has yet to be discovered. I suppose I have quite a bit unpacked. But most is already/had been packed since I moved it.. Clothes. Movies, music, useless shit - that's most of it. Not too bad. Lugging it too and from however. That's a different story.
Had a few people in the beginning of the month offer their assistance, but now.. It seems all hush hush. There are others that I need to phone. But trucks are always helpful ya know?
Other then that. Work is hectic. But mostly in my mind.. There is drama llama and that poo, which I expected in all places. As should most people too.. AND THEN there's just me in my mental status. X(
Last night I totally freaked out. I was feeling horrid going in. Thought about calling in late, no. No. No. So I went in.. Walked into a not so humorous convo, got bombed in a sense. Buttons pressed. Snapped back a bit. Stupid Filth. Quiet time... Not only but a few minutes later did an actual accident happen; where the same person knocked over my delicious LG.Iced Pumpkin 1Cm XXsugar+ 1pump caramel sauce(YUM♥). =( Sadness and anger took over as I watched it spill over my paperwork, all over the table, down into my desk drawer(with all my pens/sticky notes,etc).. Sadness. Anger. Freaked out. Told the person to fuck off, which I never do! There was no reason to do it, it just happened! Because this person is happiness for me. I don't want to lose it! Ever... He even was helping me out cleaning it up, mostly. He was apologetic. Yet after we avoided each other the rest of the night. STUPID FILTH. Never see him much as is.. I hate my emotions.
I know Ive stress with, well life. And certain people in it. But it's changing soon. Finally. Been long enough. Changing.. I'll LITERALLY be poor as fuck going in. Foooor a very very long time :/ But I've done it before.. And I can do it again, right? Right? Since I've done it before? Fret.
Bah it's so late.. Early? Late? Meh 3rd shift sucks. I've posted way more then wanted. I'll finish tidbits ere and there.. Maybe.
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[14 Oct 2009|05:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Maino - "Hi Hater" |
] |
Less then 3 weeks and I move into my own place.
It's exciting and scary.
I'm kinda afraid that I wont have enough money
Why does money have to be something that's worried about? I hate it.
Halloween is around the corner too..
And by the looks of things. I'm probably going to be moving on that day.
Or well the FRI/SAT/SUN of that day.. The landlord guy is pretty chill. And said we could work something like that out and not have to pay for the few extra days.
Which reminds me that I need to see him soon to sign the rest of the lease..
So I may just be partying by myself, in my empty home on Halloween. With all my cardboard boxes and of the such.. haha.
ANYWHO, in complete sidetrack notion; Right now I'm getting ready to hang out with this kid. That I really dont know. Haha sounds perfect for kidnapping the Filth right? Possible. But he seems cool. Will write more later. Wish me luck in not getting killed!
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[12 Oct 2009|11:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
Oct 24/25th... [sat/sun]
Hopefully,
Seeing Ashley and some haunted stuff.
Elizabeth wanna come with me? What you doing on that day?
And if you can come, you think we can use your car? I'll pay for most of the gas?
It'll be a fun adventure^^
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[11 Oct 2009|10:51pm] |
| My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul |
|---|
| acidicfilth goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Snow White. | | bagelfinagler gives you 1 orange orange-flavoured gummy bats. | | ellariana gives you 12 teal pineapple-flavoured wafers. | | idgitnator gives you 3 brown orange-flavoured gummy bats. | | kimbie_cracka gives you 2 teal cola-flavoured gumdrops. | | kindrisana tricks you! You get a 3.5-inch floppy disc. | | lapinimaginaire gives you 17 dark blue grapefruit-flavoured pieces of chewing gum. | | mystickiwi tricks you! You lose 8 pieces of candy! | | numbing_charade gives you 1 light orange evil-flavoured jawbreakers. | | pantherdragon gives you 16 softly glowing grapefruit-flavoured gummy worms. | | red_rogue_zero gives you 12 softly glowing coffee-flavoured jawbreakers. | | acidicfilth ends up with 56 pieces of candy, and a 3.5-inch floppy disc. | | Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. |
|
|
|
|
[11 Oct 2009|07:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Halloween Music |
] |
I can't believe how fast time has flown by. It's already October. It's already near the end of the year. It's already almost over.. Where the fuck have I been? Deep in my lonely state of depression..
Constantly struggling with that. It's getting worse with each passing day. Trying to not let it get to me. Or to the ones that are around me. I hate being vengeful and nasty to those around me. It's not suppose to be directed at them, and yet it still happens.
It makes me really sad that it's already October.
I love this month. And the season. And the friends. Pumpkin festivals. Haunted houses. Spooky bumps in the night. Halloween!! Everything just looks and feels so fresh and vivid. Just amazing... I want to do things really badly. Poke me please.
If all goes right. By the end of this month I should have my own place -crosses fingers- I really really really hope it goes through. I'm pretty sure it will. In which case that leaves me to fret about money. I will be poor forever. Let me just say that. I'll still want to do things, probably cry about it too. But I will be poor forever.
Works been alright. Nothing to really report. Still kinda slow suppose to pick up soon. I hate 3rd shift. Even with the money differential. I don't think its worth it. The time lapse is really making me crumble.
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[22 Sep 2009|09:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
mental breakdown |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Psyclon Nine - "The Feeding" |
] |
I think I'm having a break down..
Right before I have to go to work, excellent.
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[21 Sep 2009|04:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
: / |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Alice in Wonderland |
] |
"Weeping willow with your tears running down, why do you always weep and frown? Is it because he left you one day? Is it because he could not stay? On your branches he would swing. Do you long for the happiness that day would bring? He found shelter in your shade. You thought his laughter would never fade. Weeping Willow, stop your tears, for there is something to calm your fears. You think death has ripped you forever apart, but I know he'll always be in your heart."
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[14 Sep 2009|11:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nervous |
] |
I should be getting a call back about my credit around 3ish or so.. There's this little apartment place right new Erik, Courtney, and Jess... And it's pretty cute. The hallway looks dingy but the actual rooms look nice. It's a 2bdrm within my price range. Only including hot water. But I can deal with that.. The rooms are a bit small. But honestly for what I need it works amazing..
I just hope that they wont be basis on me. Being a one person going into a two bedroom. Where as it could be two people or even a small family going in. Taking up 'more' space.. Yet I need it. I want it.. I really hope it all works out. -crosses fingers- Another thing I'm kinda nervous on is in fact my credit score. I don't really have any credit cards. Only card I really have is my bank card. Or well 2.. I've a cell phone. And a car. Which is about all I got.. Honestly I know nothing about credit or how to really build it- other then what I've already said..
But the place is cute. I'm thinking too much. And I need to just relax. But I also need to get out too.. I'm not sure if they except kitties which will make me super sad. Perhaps I can swindle it or hide the thing.. Mwaha. Either way.. IDK I'm such a space case right now..
I need to pay my phone bill right now. But everything I need is in my car. And I'm lazy. >.< It's terrible.. I NEED A HAIRCUT desperately. My hair is just so long and doesn't know what to do itself. It's insane to think how bland my hair is. I hates me. But also dont know what to do with it..
Anywho I think I've done enough stupid ramble. Wish me luck on the apartment.
That is all
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[08 Sep 2009|09:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 high |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dispatch - "The General" |
] |
Looking for an apartment. Took Last FRI-THUR off. So that's almost a week. Thus far not having much luck.. Kinda think its hopeless. But I'm trying to not get discouraged.
Hanging out with Erik, Jess, and Courtney a bit more..
Through Jess there's this guy Corey. Corey is a cool kid. Very physiological.. Is that even the right spelling? Dunno. But I do enjoy having convos with him
Things are very hectic right now. Dads being bizarre. His Lady friend and daughter moved in.. Rearrange everything. Took everything of mine stuck it on my bed, and then stripped everything on my bed.. Ok?
So I'm looking for an apartment. Yet no ones calling meh back >.<
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[02 Sep 2009|02:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Cars - "Just What I Needed" |
] |
So I'm really thinking about getting an iPod touch or iPod phone..
Why? Meh I guess I really don't have a plausible explanation other then they are pretty nifty. And since my iPod got stolen at work, I don't quite have music. Thus with the iPhone-magig I'd be able to use it and as a phone.. Since my purple one isnt really that grand. AND if I'm to pay crazy amounts in a bill I might as well have a lot of stuff I can do with it. Yeah makes no sense..
But I'm still not sure. I've a lil while longer with my Verizon plan.. And yet AT&T has this contract helping thing.. Gah.. What to do.. Right now I'm just so amused with all the features..
What's a lil Filth to do?
Also I need of a haircut terribly so. Tis just so long and blech. I need to be fresh.
Apartment hunting this weekend.. I'm def at the point where I'm just going to start throwing money and see who picks it up. At this point I'm ready for a cardboard box. I can't take it anymore. It's all eating me alive. No one talks about anything, shit just happens. My stuff constantly gets touched/moved. Yet no one owns up to it. At this rate everything I have will be in shambles.. I'm just ready to kill something. I'm ready.
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[01 Sep 2009|04:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lots of issues |
] |
Crazy?
I was crazy once.
They locked me in a rubber room.
I lived there.
I died there.
They buried me in a hole.
There were worms.
Worms!
Worms drive me crazy.
Crazy?..
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[24 Aug 2009|06:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
So summer is pretty much almost over. And I really want to go to a Carnival..
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[18 Aug 2009|03:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
I need an apartment.
I need a life.
I need things to be easier.
I need things to be happy..
Why can I never get what I want?
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[12 Aug 2009|08:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
So.. Long time.
People came and went. Elizabeth probably the highest of times, even if for one night. That night in itself wasn't too bad. Could have been better. But it was nice seeing everyone that was there.
Dad told me that within the month or so his lady friend:Linda, and her daughter:Lanni are moving in.. Because you know, there are lots of rooms, and space and bedding. Talk about fun. What's even better is that with Linda:lady friend there he's all cautious about words. Yet when its just me and him, its more along the lines of off with you. Whatever.
I did wanna get out soon anyways. But within the month? Blah
Ironically within the week after that news, Jess has moved back down to NH. Yay, I'm wicked excited! And yet shit happened where- it's in the past now. And I'm happy for both her and Erik, and Courtney. Their place is pretty cute to boot.
Life? What is that.. Does anyone really know? I hate it. Just like I hate a lot of things. And I hate to hate so much.. Being positive is tough. I try so hard, and yet I feel like my trying isn't even trying anymore.
Been looking around for places. Most I find are on the Tree Streets :/ in the Nash area. Other places I find are over an hour+ from work and some people.. Or kinda pricey.. Or a 3+ bdrm. Maybe my standards are too high.. Maybe I just need to settle for the shittiest of shit-boxes. I dunno.
Well its been along night. And I mean a looong night. Work sucked major ass. So many things wrong, but fixed. Very tiring. Yet people been working on my dads house past 2 days. Urg.. Not happy. Terrible on my sleep schedule.
Other words to be had. Perhaps when I wake up.
Oh, and I have a new email. I still use ticklemykidneys@yahoo.com but I just made ursula.abt@gmail.com 'cuz of giggles really, but that's my secret. So update it if you want. I really haven't checked ANY email lately- which I'm sorry. Computers and Time lately haven't been hand in hand. Forgive me.
Here's a few pictures to not make this a completely lame post.
( Click-Clack )
Been having the most messed up dreams lately. Keep forgetting to write them down. But if you've been a lucky few. If ya called me upon waking up- the things I tell you apparently? Heh. Dreams are so intense..
Anywho, this has taken way much longer then I wanted. Gah. I'm off for now
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[18 Jul 2009|08:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ally Kerr - "The Sore Feet Song" |
] |
I need a crazy ass nail gun. With nice sharp long nails.ASAP.Or else a terrible fate..
Elizabet iz coming up^^. I'm excited of the fun times to be yet had. 'Cept-I think-stuff? Bwaha
I'm tired yet not. I need no sleep! But words are funny.XD
Making sense yet am I? I forget just about everything else I wanted to comment on:/
Again. |NAIL| |GUN| |?|!|
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[13 Jul 2009|06:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Lil' Wayne - "I feel like dying" |
] |
"Only once the drugs are done, that I feel like dying... I feel like dying-"
I feel at a loss for words-
A loss for everything..
I am slowly crumbling apart.
Ready to snap.
But which direction? Whose to know..
I need to stop being an emotional pussy. I just really hate depression. Why can't things I want to happen, happen.. Why?
It's a simple lame pik, yet for some reason I like it.
Also I've plenty more piks that I need to upload. Eep^^
ALSO;; happy.birthday.ERIK (22yrs)
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
|
[04 Jul 2009|01:22pm] |
I had a whole week off. Due to my works' shutdown. Has it been fun? Sorta. Yet again nothing ever goes as planned.. Maybe that's why I give up with it most times. Because nothing ever works out anything.
I was to go down to see Jess. I left on TUES took a plane - it was amusing. I had a window seat, boy were there lots of clouds. Once I landed in VA the sun was out, there was no rain, and boy was it hot. Like an actual summer. Saw her mommie and cousin.. We did some stuffs. But she was kinda sickly ill. So we didn't do a whole lot. Then left a day early.. So I was only there for a day with a plane ticket costing 80-85$ oh wells.. They have lots of fountains there.
Driving back was so much fun 8hrs 9ish with traffic. Stopped at a reststop somewhere in CT and ate some wicked back chicken nuggets. I felt like vomitting the whole way back. Then once we were back in NH we parted so that I went to WalMart. Have been eatting tums since..
We were suppose to go camping two days ago. Then switched it to yesterday. Then switched it too today.. But still thats not good enough for whatever reason. PEOPLE ALL KNOW OF THE RAIN YET ARE STILL UNHAPPY. I want to fucking camp. And now its postponned to tomorrow. The day after The Fourth of July. SO whats the point in camping if its on the 5th?
And now I can't really get fucked up and partaaaayy since its the day before I have to go back to work.. I was the only one who was willing ot go abouts it all. WIlling to not give a fuck about where and who. And now everyone else is just bitching and complainning about where and when... I don't know. The idea just isn't that fun anymore.
Oh. And I came back to find that I had a nail in my tire. So its slowly deflating. And one of the places I brought it too said I could do it, but had to come back 2hrs lter since they were booked. I did. Then were like "Oh we can't fix this because they're bald tires"... Okay, so I'm to drive around on a deflating tire and crash cuz you can't do a simple patch job because I have no money to actually fix it now.. Assholes.
I'm in such a hate mood right now. It's just not fair.
I feel like I give and give. Yet get nothing in return. I'm there for people, and they don't care. I help them out and they dont see it. Or even worse they just expect me too. I feel used and abused. That no one really cares about me. No one gives a damn really. I'm just a piece of meat to toss around..
I really need to get out.
That is all.
♠
.filth
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|